I also cried as I read Jeremy's obituary. He was my one true love and I shall never love another as I did him. Finding some humorous accounts of my family's chronicles, I was able to cheer myself up and I even giggled a little. I took the time to trace the history of all of my children, to the extent possible from the microfilm records. It made me sad to think that they had all passed away long ago. My first child, Jeremy, Jr. had been born 112 years ago. I knew that some of my grandchildren must still be alive, and many of my other descendents that had attended my last birthday party would certainly be alive and well. But I also knew that I could never contact them and inform them that I was their great, or great-great grandmother. Can you imagine how ridiculous that would sound? Yet I still ached to be with my family again.Lastly, I read the accounts of my own death. How many people get to read their final obituary? I had received wonderful write-ups in the local papers. They. I didn't know and didn't care. All I knew wasthat if you were face down you stood less chance of having your facesmashed and you couldn't see the blows coming if you were going to get abeating. It was also easier to curl up into the foetal position from akneeling or face down position. Once you were curled up it was difficultfor an attacker to prise your vulnerable parts apart.I knelt on the floor and lay face down across the bed thus presenting mysissy hole for the inevitable assault; it wasn't long coming and I feltmy sphincter burning and ripping as he drove cruelly into my soft,vulnerable, unresisting body. All the time the words, 'survive this,survive this, live to bear witness, survive at all costs!' were poundingthrough my terrified brain.To survive such repeated brutal experiences, those who have been there,(and readers, I am one!) slowly learn to try and get themselves 'outsidetheir own bodies'; to somehow escape from the body and therefore escapefrom the immediate pain. The.
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